Moving on - want to keep the peace

Discussion in 'Men's divorce Issues' started by BellyDancer, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. BellyDancer

    BellyDancer New Member

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    Been wanting a divorce for years now, but held on in hopes that things would improve. Needless to say they didn't. It wasn't realistic to think they would when hubby went into a cold sweat every time I tried to talk about our relationship or sort things out that I wasn't happy about. A big part of the problem is the fact that 99 nights out of a hundred he would rather watch TV or read than spend time with me...

    Anyhow, I finally told husband that I wanted a divorce today and he's clammed up completely. It hurts me to see him hurting but I have to move.

    How do I keep the peace? I'm scared to death that I'll cave in because I feel sorry for him or because of the kids. I KNOW that this relationship is killing my will to live, so I won't be doing anyone any favours by staying on.

    Cheers

    Let Joy Be Your Compass!
     
  2. edie25

    edie25 New Member

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    I think its almost impossible to do this the 'nice way' when someone doesn't want it. You can't give him what he wants because you would be unhappy and its false for him as well. You won't be the person to help him through as you will be the root of his hurt. A cruel to be kind thing, but unfortunately thats the way it usually goes.

    I hate confrontation and being the cause of hurt, but know that I don't deserve to love a miserable life to stop hurting him for a period. He will eventually come to accept and move on but if you stayed unhappy you would probably end up resenting him and being in the same posistion in years to come.

    I know how you feel and there is not easy way unfortunately. (well if there is please can someone let me in on it?)
     
  3. lesleyclara

    lesleyclara New Member

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    OH MY GOD I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME I WANT TO LEAVE BUT I FEEL SO GUILTY
     
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