Wanted to remain friends. But how do I deal with this?

Discussion in 'Men's divorce Issues' started by Mark Keenan, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. Mark Keenan

    Mark Keenan Administrator Staff Member

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    On the legal side, she is not going to get what she wants from a court. The max you will have to pay for child support is 15% net. As for the property it may be that she gets to stay in the house but she will not get more than 50% of the equity on sales. The court will more than likely either give her 75% now but with the balance to be repaid when she remarries or cohabits or when your child is 18. This is called a mesher order. It means you have a charge in any property which is repaid as above.
     
  2. bw1974

    bw1974 New Member

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    Wife kicked me out 7 months ago based on my "unreasonable behaviour"- didn't make her feel special enough apparently, which entitled her to register on dating websites and meet other men behind my back. Have a 21 month year old daughter how I love to bits and I don't want her to suffer. Problem is that my wife (soon to be ex) wants 100% equity from the house and approximately 40% of my net income, which if I accept would leave me worse off than her. I am suggesting 75%/25% split as I need something to get my life going also, but things turning v nasty and my wife is no way going to back down. Almost feel like giving in, as she starting to play emotional games- how can I move my daughter etc.
    I really wanted to be friends, but starting to get really annoyed at constantly being told what a selfish, arrogant, uncaring b*stard I am, when all I did was love her to the best of my abilities.
     
  3. martbert

    martbert New Member

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    I am in a very similar, but more advanced situation, as far as my children's ages go. I'm the wounded party, but I just keep thinking how lucky I am to have escaped from this woman who thought that "going over the side" was acceptable behaviour. If you keep your mind in the now, then the squabbling over percentages just becomes a silly distraction. Freely give her the cash she wants but you gain your pride, integrity, instant peace of mind and you will have a much better life
     
  4. ellie369

    ellie369 New Member

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    I know it's hard not to feel bitter when you are not to blame and i do think she is expecting too much. What is her earning potential once your daughter is older? If you have a well paid job perhaps you could offer her 80% and no spousal maintenance. I have my decree nisi and have yet to agree on finances and I know it's going to get rough. Good luck.
     
  5. henry1974

    henry1974 New Member

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    hi im in the very same situation , my ex wife asked me to leave the home and give her space , 6 months max i agreed if it rectified our marriage two weeks later i had a divorce petition on my door step, she had no intentions of ressolving our marriage problems , and now she taken it to court , for permenant residency of the house and seeking me for maintenace , until children are 18 i have three boys under five , all i asked of her is enough to move on in a new home for my children to stay and enjoy with me . but she said i dont deserve anything and inlaws are fighting for her . its so sad we cant agree on anything as we allways agreed to be friends if it all went sour . and it has and were at locker heads over money .

    what do you do ?
     
  6. Mark Keenan

    Mark Keenan Administrator Staff Member

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