Extra-marital affairs are still the number one reason for divorce
Date: 24 January 2005
Extra-marital affairs are still the number one reason for divorces, a new survey has revealed.
But family strains and emotional or physical abuse have shown significant increases as other causes, the survey of UK matrimonial lawyers showed.
Adulterous behaviour accounted for 27% of all cases in 2004, down from a total of 29% in the previous year.
The survey also found that 13% of marriages in 2004 ended because of mid-life crises.
'Co-operative'
The number of divorces caused by family strains rose from 11% in 2003 to 18% while the figure for emotional or physical abuse rose from 10% to 17%.
The first five years of any marriage is pretty much divorce-free and if the union last beyond 20 it looks set for life
Toni Pincott, a matrimonial expert with Grant Thornton's forensic practice which conducted the survey, said: "Divorce is becoming much more co-operative than it ever was with very few divorces now ending up in court.
"According to our survey's results, the first five years of any marriage is pretty much divorce-free and if the union lasts beyond 20 it looks set for life."
MAIN REASONS FOR DIVORCE 2004 Extra-marital affair - 27% Family strains - 18% Abuse - 17% Mid-life crisis - 13% Addictions - 6% Workaholism - 6% Source: Grant Thornton
In divorces triggered by extra-marital affairs, men were three times more likely to be adulterous than women while 78% of those which were the result of family strains involved the families of women compared to 12% involving men's.
The survey found that, 93% of the time, it was women who had petitioned for divorce.
And in 2004, women achieved a better or considerably better settlement than men 60% of the time.
Pre-nuptial agreements continued to increase in popularity with more than 98% of matrimonial lawyers reporting higher or similar demand for these services than in the previous year.
Benefits system encourages parents to split says report
Date: 21 January 2005
They are barely £1 a week per head better off in benefits than a single household, the right-leaning Centre for Policy Studies argues.
Yet when parents split up, the state increases their income by between 35% and 65%, its report said.
The authors argued that the benefit system was helping to turn Britain into the single parent capital of the West.
The amount of public subsidy spent on households with children had doubled since 1997 to £22bn a year, according to the report.
But many people felt they were losing out because they were in two parent families, said author Jill Kirby.
Child maintenance
The proportion of children growing up with one parent had increased by a quarter since Labour's election victory in 1997.
The report claimed that a "typical household" consisting of two parents and two children, with an income of £24,000, is just £1 a week per head better off than a single parent family entirely dependent on benefits.
The more money is spent on subsidising lone parents the greater incentive there is for couples to break up
Bob Rowthorn
Parents are better off collectively if they split up, the report says.
Their weekly income after tax and housing costs increases by 35% from £223 to £301, if the husband pays child maintenance.
It can rise by 65% to £369 if he ignores the law and evades it.
The taxpayer spends between £8,450 and £12,000 a year when couples separate, the report suggests.
A single parent household raising two children on benefits costs taxpayers more than £11,000 in payments alone.
The overall effect is to undermine the family, Cambridge Economics Professor Bob Rowthorn writes in the report foreword.
He writes: "By encouraging lone parenthood, it is also corroding the social fabric.
"The present system feeds on itself - the more money is spent on subsidising lone parents the greater incentive there is for couples to break up."
Ministers have bowed to pressure from the campaign group Fathers 4 Justice by including a plan for electronic tagging in a draft Bill on measures to enforce access to children, despite having described the idea as "disproportionate".
Under the proposal put forward by Fathers 4 Justice, courts could impose curfew orders as a punishment on women who persistently refused to allow fathers to see their children. Electronic tags could be fitted to mothers to make sure they obey the court ruling.
Lord Falconer of Thoroton, the Lord Chancellor, flanked yesterday by Patricia Hewitt, the Trade and Industry Secretary, and Ruth Kelly, the Education Secretary, said all three ministers regarded electronic tagging as a "disproportionate" penalty to impose on women. But he said it would be included in the draft Bill to be published in the next fortnight.
Lord Falconer said: "In my view, the idea of tagging was not sufficiently brought to the fore. There hasn't been a debate about tagging at all. We are not saying we are going to go in the direction of tagging but let there be a debate about it."
Lord Falconer denied including the measure to appease Fathers 4 Justice, whose high- profile protests have included a demonstrator dressed up as Batman climbing up to a balcony of Buckingham Palace.
He said: "The civil disobedience campaign has not brought this to the fore. There is a widespread sense that the system has not been working. There have been too many cases where the courts have made order after order and there hasn't then been contacts. It has to be change in the interests of the children."
Ms Kelly, who has four children, said: "On the question of tagging, I completely agree. The judiciary asked us for a flexible set of tools to put at their disposal. That is what we are trying to offer."
Ms Hewitt said they were trying to deal with "wilful and absolute flouting" of court orders by those who refused their ex-partners access to their children. But Fathers 4 Justice's demand for an automatic right of equal access to children has been rejected.
Fathers 4 Justice warned last night that it was planning to disrupt the general election to highlight its demands. Gary Burch, a spokesman for the group, said the Government's proposals did not go far enough.
He said: "The Government has admitted that the system is not working. A year ago it was claiming there was no problem. They are still not putting forward solutions which stop children being used as weapons in relationship breakdowns.
"I haven't seen my two daughters for nearly four years. The courts won't enforce the access orders. They were faced with one obdurate parent, but it has taken four years to get to grips with the case. My case is now in the High Court, but it is just a mess.
"There is a growing number of people who aren't prepared to walk away from their children. I don't understand why we won't condemn a man who walks away from his kids, but we will condemn a man who tries to have a say in their lives."
The Government is also proposing legislation to improve contact and the enforcement of contact orders. Under the plans, parents will be forced to repay money to former partners if they suffer financial loss, such as over a wrecked holiday, by refusing access to their children. Parents defying court orders over access could be punished with community work or be forced to accept a curfew. Couples will be urged to go to mediation. A telephone helpline will give legal advice.
Husband who fled with baby comes out of hiding
A husband who went missing for 10 days with his baby daughter in New Zealand has come out of hiding after a television appeal.
Stephen Jelicich, 39, was on an extended trip to New Zealand with his British wife when he disappeared with five-month-old Caitlin after arguments led the couple to split up.
Diane Jelicich, 41, a nurse from Swansea, flew back to the UK and made an appeal for her baby's return which was shown on New Zealand television.
Mr Jelicich returned with the child, who is reported to be safe and well, to his parents' home in Auckland yesterday evening. He has won the right to appeal against a court decision in New Zealand which awarded custody of the baby to his estranged wife, which led him to go on the run.
He argues that he can offer the child a better life in New Zealand.
Mrs Jelicichtold GMTV yesterday that she was pleased her daughter was safe but "devastated" at the court's decision. She said: "I'm glad to know Caitlin is safe and well. I'm appalled that Stephen has not been arrested. I was going to go over there as soon as I could and now it looks like I'm not going to see the baby as soon as I thought I was."
MR Blobby star Noel Edmonds was devastated last night after discovering his wife had a three-month fling with a "cross-dressing" Pilates coach.
Mother of four Helen , 41, admitted enjoying a secret affair with Stuart Lord, also 41, who is believed to be a bisexual transvestite.
A week ago, Noel announced that the couple's 18-year marriage was over. But at the time the couple stressed no one else was involved.
Now the 56-year-old multi-millionaire , who had a showdown with Helen on Saturday night, feels bitterly betrayed. He is set to hand her up to £10million in a "quickie" divorce.
A close friend said: "Noel is angry and disappointed Helen didn't tell him about this when they made their statement about their marriage.
"He genuinely had no idea about what had been going on. He feels betrayed and utterly humiliated because this makes him look stupid and, even worse, a liar. The fact that the man involved is allegedly into cross-dressing and kinky stuff just makes him feel even worse.
"Noel feels extremely let down and is desperate to move on. He and Helen are separated and now wish to go ahead with a divorce."
Noel and Helen - parents of Charlotte, 21, Lorna, 17, Olivia, 14, and Alice, six - parted two years ago.
But they remained on good terms, living in different parts of their luxurious 35-room Devon mansion.
The friend said: "They used different doors and could go for days without actually running into each other. But everyone was happy with the arrangement. Noel is now most concerned about the girls. To say this has been an emotional time for him is an understatement."
Helen's fling with Lord did not cause her marriage breakdown as she and Noel were already living apart. She said last night: "I don't want to say anything more because I don't want this to drag on any further."
The former beauty queen is said to have met Lord in September when he started visiting her home to give her private Pilates sessions.
Lord's live-in girlfriend Sarah Dyson, 52, discovered the affair after reading a text message on her lover's phone in which Helen referred to herself as "the vestal virgin".
She confronted Lord several times. Finally, he confessed on Christmas Eve.
Sarah claimed Lord frolicked in the hay with Helen and romped naked with her on windswept Dartmoor. She also claimed he was bisexual and enjoyed cross-dressing, adding: "I've seen him snogging blokes.
"He's told me he had sex with men, enjoyed sex with strangers and liked people watching. I didn't mind all that - but I didn't expect him to have an affair." Her revelations appeared in a Sunday newspaper. Lord did not confirm or deny Sarah's claims.
Last night he attempted to play down his relationship with Helen, claiming he had "exaggerated" certain aspects of the fling so he could split from Sarah.
He told the Mirror: "I'd been trying to end my relationship with Sarah for some time, but she was unable to accept the situation.
"I therefore exaggerated my friendship with Helen to force the issue. I realise now I behaved extremely naively." Helen said at the weekend: "These revelations have come as a huge shock to my husband and my family. We are shortly to divorce. I stand by our original statement that no one else was involved in that decision. Our primary concern is our children.
"Stuart is a free spirit. As to his tastes, all I can say is that he never wore a dress when he was teaching me Pilates, or when he was on the squash court.
"Sarah is clearly very upset and has chosen to be spiteful and vindictive in an attempt to destroy other people's lives."
On January 7, Noel and Helen announced their plans to divorce in a statement which said the decision to end their marriage was "difficult and painful".
The statement said: "No other party is involved and they intend to remain close friends". Helen is Edmonds' second wife. He split from first wife Gillian Slater after five years following an affair with record company secretary Patricia Askew.
The star of TV hits like Noel's House Party, set in Crinkley Bottom, once vowed that nothing would come between him and his new wife except death.
After marrying Helen in 1986 he said he was "besotted" with her, declaring: "I'm very possessive. Helen is mine. I've got a bit of paper to say I bought her."
He also boasted about their love life. He said: "I've a very attractive wife and I want to be able to enjoy all aspects of her. I don't play much sport, but make love for Britain."
Noel, whose BBC1 show featuring Mr Blobby ended in 1999, is believed to have amassed a fortune of more than £20million.
His mansion alone - set in an 855-acre estate at Jacobstowe, near Teignmouth - is worth around £10 million.
Reports that the star, who used to travel to work in his helicopter, is worth £70million are thought to be wildly exaggerated.
But Noel is an astute businessman and now runs a hugely successful multi-million pound media company Unique. It also incorporates his Video Meeting Company.
Family shakeup announced
Date: 18 January 2005
Parents who fail to comply with court orders to allow their former partners access to their children could face tougher penalties including curfews and electronic tagging, the government said today.
Compulsory community work and compensation are other options under consideration by the government to prevent parents from flouting access orders, the constitutional affairs secretary, Lord Falconer, added.
Lord Falconer confirmed that electronic tagging for parents who fail to comply with access arrangements is under consideration, although he said he thought it would be "disproportionate".
But curfews could ensure parents are at home when former partners arrive to pick up their children, while compulsory voluntary work during access visits would prevent them from disrupting their ex's time with the children, he added.
Lord Falconer denied the tough sanctions came as a result of high profile campaigns by fathers groups which claim they are being denied contact with their children because the law favours mothers.
Parents who breach court orders can at present be fined, but sanctions are rarely imposed because they are considered to be not in a child's interests.
The proposals, launched today by Lord Falconer, the education secretary, Ruth Kelly, and the trade secretary, Patricia Hewitt, follow a green paper to reform family law, published last July.
The report will be followed in the next few weeks by a draft bill to be scrutinised by a parliamentary committee before legislation is introduced.
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ukcollegeoflifecoaching.com Other reforms under consideration include: · new "parenting plans" designed to help separated couples reach agreement on sharing the care of their offspring; · child contact centres where estranged partners who cannot bear to see each other can leave and collect their children; · encouraging parents to resolve problems through mediation without going to court; · clarification of the legal definition of harm to children so that courts take into account the effects of children witnessing as well as suffering domestic violence; · a legal advice telephone helpline for estranged parents.
The education secretary said: "The new parenting plans published for consultation today will help parents reach the most appropriate arrangements for their family and their circumstances.
"They offer realistic examples of workable contact arrangements for a variety of family situations. These should be available to parents through solicitors' and advice and mediation services this spring."
The president of the family division of the high court, Dame Elizabeth Butler-Sloss, also published new guidance for courts today to speed up the hearing of family cases. Lord Falconer said this would be backed by an extra £10m to help courts process cases faster.
Lord Falconer rejected Conservative proposals to split access 50-50 between parents because he said practicalities such as school and living with one parent rather than another made that difficult to enforce.
· Five fathers are due to stand trial today accused of "blocking" all the main routes into London. The men, from the Fathers4Justice pressure group, allegedly sported superhero outfits to unfurl banners across the busy roads on February 2 last year.
Brad and Jennifer have separated - official
Date: 8 January 2005
Hollywood dream couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have separated after months of rumours about their struggling marriage.
The pair said they had decided to go their separate ways but remain "committed and caring friends".
In a joint statement released to People Magazine, Pitt and Aniston said: "We would like to announce that after seven years together we have decided to formally separate.
"For those who follow these sorts of things, we would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media.
"This decision is the result of much thoughtful consideration.
"We happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another.We ask in advance for your kindness and sensitivity in the coming months."
Ocean's Twelve star Pitt, 41, and Friends actress Aniston, 35, met in 1998 when they were set up on a dinner date.
In July 2000 they wed at a lavish ceremony in Malibu.
In recent weeks, Aniston has been photographed without her diamond wedding ring, sparking fevered speculation that all was not well in the Pitt household.
However, it appeared that the couple were back together at the New Year, which they spent on holiday on the Caribbean island of Anguilla with Aniston's former Friends co-star Courteney Cox and David Arquette.
SFLA makes new year Resolution to help clients
Date: 7 January 2005
The Solicitors Family Law Association has re-launched itself in a bid to explode myths about how its members handle cases and show that it is a source of help for clients as well as lawyers.
The 5,000-member group has changed its name to Resolution and set its main objectives as promoting mediation, early legal advice and collaborative family law to help avoid litigation.
It wants to show the public that consulting a solicitor does not always mean going to court, after a survey of more than 1,000 people showed that although 82% maintained that it was important for family lawyers to help achieve a fair outcome, just 55% put the same emphasis on avoiding a court battle.
Chairwoman Kim Beatson said Resolution had helped to revolutionise family law through measures such as accreditation schemes, training, and establishing a code of practice, but now felt it was time to adopt a new focus. ‘Our new name reflects the need to take our message directly to the public, to boost their understanding of how the law works and to change attitudes,’ she explained.
The Robin, Batman and Captain America protesters timed the stunt to coincide with Labour's announcement on "family-friendly" working on Monday. They unfurled a banner saying: "Don't let Labour stop you being a Superdad." The trio spent Monday afternoon and evening perched 50ft above the junction of Downing Street and Whitehall. Just before 2200 GMT, one of the protesters climbed into the Foreign Office, where police were waiting. The two others followed later, Scotland Yard said. A police spokeswoman said there had been "no breach of security", and the men could not have accessed the Foreign and Commonwealth Office or any of the buildings within Downing Street. The campaign group has already breached security at Buckingham Palace and the House of Commons in its campaign for fathers to have better access rights to their children. The London co-ordinator for Fathers 4 Justice, Richard Castle, said the three men were "hardened protesters" who had planned to stay up on the balcony as long as possible, having got onto the building via a ladder mounted on a flatbed truck. He added that the person dressed as Batman was Jason Hatch, who was behind the Buckingham Palace protest. And he pledged the campaign group would undertake a series of stunts in the run up to the general election, predicted to be held on 5 May. "What we are trying to highlight is that rather than helping families and children, the government is failing families," Mr Castle said. "They are producing a generation of McDads - fathers who only ever see their children in McDonalds once every few weeks." Women's Minister Patricia Hewitt said the government would not give in to the group's key demand for a 50/50 share of access between mother and father. "Children are not property to be divided 50-50 like the goods divided between a couple on divorce," she said. "What we have recently put forward are proposals that will give children much more time with both their parents - the non-resident parent as well as the resident parent." Fathers 4 Justice founder Matt O'Connor identified the protester dressed as Robin as Andy James though he added he did not the know the identity of the Captain America demonstrator. Mr O'Connor added that he was surprised at the ease by which they managed to clamber onto the building.
Please donate to the Tsunami Aid fund via this site
Date: 2 January 2005
if you have yet to donate to the Tsunami Aid appeal you can do so by clicking on the link below which will take you to the Disasters Emergency Committee website who are coordinating the UK effort to raise money and distribute aid very quickly.
So far this has been the fastest aid appeal in history and the speed of the reaction of UK donors has been in their words, beyond amazing.
Everyone can make a difference. £50.00 buys a house in Sri Lanka or Indonesia. So it only takes 5 people donating a tenner to build someone a house.
Please donate something today and help save a life.
