Questions to Consider

The decision to end a relationship is usually made by one person rather than the couple together. But the decision affects everybody, and involves them in a long process of separation and divorce.

The personal and emotional process is separate from the legal process; even without complicated legal and financial issues to resolve, the upheaval for every member of the family in the personal process is profound. This affects children, grandparents and the wider family.

Most families experience a substantial drop in their standard of living after separation and divorce. Many spouses may find it difficult to obtain financial services if they have to rely on maintenance or child support

Children can be badly affected by the process of separation, and will at the very least be anxious about their relationships within the family and about the disruption in their own lives.

Before making the decision to end a relationship, it is important to appraise honestly whether things are so bad within a relationship that there is no alternative.

To help assess things clearly, we have three suggested questions which might help you when considering whether divorce is the right option for you to take.

  • Is it possible to make changes within your relationship?
  • What, if any, practical steps might be taken to improve things?
  • Are there any clear advantages in separating or divorcing - and if so, what are those advantages?
  • Where a marriage is fraught, people commonly focus on "symptoms" - the recurring patterns of behaviour between them. If the symptoms are too numerous or seem beyond repair, divorce feels inevitable. It all feels "too much" and beyond repair. What a professional can often do is help to separate and identify the problems from the overwhelming feelings. This in itself can be a most valuable step.

Why not join the free Divorce-Online Community where you can get Free expert advice and join in discussions with your peers on a range of subjects from adultery to the CSA.



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Information on this page is current and last updated: 12/03/2008

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